Sunday, December 29, 2019

New year - New me - Resolutions.

So, how many of you remember your yesteryear’s resolutions?
To be honest, I don't. Not one. Majorly because I had big resolutions. "Big" ones that I presumed to change my life & interestingly I don't recollect any to say. More interestingly, I am here, all buckled down with my new year resolutions yet again. As hopeless as it sounds. 
Or wait, may be hopeful

Let me share with you my expert tips from a few million years experience of following a new year ritual - making resolutions.

Dreaming "Big" is a cliche. 
I have almost always been confused about dreaming big, as the magnitude of my dreams kept me questioning my abilities - clearly not driving me towards accomplishing my dreams of becoming a professional singer or a doctor. It took me an inconceivable era to finally get the idea of how to chase big dreams by simply working on small action items every single day
"Every big dream is like a beautiful fabric interlaced intricately in the right direction by a ton of selected small thread-like tasks".
Be humiliated. 
There is utter shame in not trying and a sort of pride in failure, if only you wish to see. Be humiliated about failing to try. Starting over has an insightful undertone just like how "Boldness has genius, power and magic in it", as Goethe said. And so, I am beginning again. But this time around, so much so like the curious girl in me who was unintimidated by who was around - who did not reckon failure - who sang her heart out - who was always resolute to rise. 

Feel threatened - by time & not by your dreams.
We are indeed confined and all we have is just 'now'. Whether or not you realize, the truth is your time is running out & your "stay" is shortening anyway, at a pace - may be much faster than you think. Today, there are innumerable instances of time to money conversion. Just that our time is converted to someone else's money. Such remorseless exploitation of ignorant people's personal time is a subdued scam encouraged by our own incomprehension.

Living in this frightening whirlpool of some covetous technological advancements, it becomes indispensable for each of us today to scrutinize our own activities. Consider thinking about and reworking on how you spend every hour of your day. While you do, remember to steer clear of actions that don't make you a better person physically or mentally. It is insane to waste your time on things that do not move you a bit towards your dream. Some examples include:
  • Endlessly watching TV.
  • Indefinitely scrolling down FB wall; peeping into someone else's life for no good.
  • Clicking on links and reading/watching something you actually did not intend to.
  • Inadvertently talking with random people online/offline etc.

The list goes on. It's in fact amusing when someone says they are passing time. The question here is:
"Are humans mightier than time? Isn't it time that is passing us rather?"
"There is no shortcut", a 60 year old wise woman once said to me. But that was all she said. How I wish she expanded a little, letting my then naive mind pick up the essence of her words right. 
One who works hard, for sure sees his path to success differently; one who consistently works hard is already half-way through.
At this point in life, my view about what an artist is most celebrated for has definitely changed. What do you guess it could be? Neither is it the fineness of art nor the poised nature of the artist. 
The world appreciates and celebrates sheer determination & persistency that the artist demonstrates. 

Ignoring the negativity around is a much-needed skill.
Do not heed to people who: constantly put you down, belittle your work or judge you for how you do it; for you are at least making efforts, unlike them. And effort - however it is, should never be disparaged. Mistakes are vital for growth. Look for people who keep your spirits up and raise you higher in the ladder. Those darlings need to be cherished. Obviously “ignoring" to pen anything about the rest here so that you get the point.

You can never be the best though. 
You read it right; you can never be the best when you are determined to compete with who you were the previous day. Striving to be the best version of 'you' is simply a never-ending process. Take pride in being a work-in-progress. Hang in and be diligent. 
Dreams do come true but with time, patience & perseverance. 
So, tell me about your new year's resolution.☺ Just in case you did not think about it yet, don't wait. 
Find out where you belong & just begin. 

"தொடங்கித் தொலையும்!", as I often say in Tamil. 

With that prudent note, I end my ramblings for 2019. _/\_ 
Happy New Year, y'all ☺ Much love.


Saturday, July 20, 2019

The Child (I)n Mom

Deafening screams of her core
Diminishing the squeals of her youngster;
Somewhere into the noises of present,
Seeped through the voices of past.

Little did she know that
Innocent smiles of long ago
In-deed made times glow.
Aimlessly drifting kite...
Amusingly gliding paper-boat...
Strangely satisfying to quote.

Building her own maze &
Dwelling in her joyous days,
Ain't they self-same?
Eyes shut at this juncture,
A quick gaze at herself clasping mother,
She keeps patting her snuggling toddler.

Amidst the bustling now & rustling then,
In-between the toing & froing sun,
Back & forth, she bounced
Between mothering & being mothered.

Friday, April 5, 2019

'A Quiet Place' lingers

'A Quiet Place' disrupts your quietude. 
Daunting noises unwilling to settle in my head after heeding the unspoken conversations. "The very first scene of downright adorable Beau dying a toy death distresses you" is an under-statement. I was crushed watching Beau's mom sob in silence, at the edge of my seat already, as the movie began. A family's indestructible sense of togetherness, come what may, their inconceivable determination to hold on to the gift of life, sheer acceptance of uncertainty and most of all, their sustained efforts to rebuild-conspire-confront for life are unquestionably astounding.

Most of the time, we don't appreciate enough the 'giving' nature of our parents, their invaluable advices for life, our liberty of choice, the generous amount of time bestowed upon us, euphonious nectar-like music that heals and so on. Giving it a thought, we conveniently evade acknowledging and exercising what we have, don’t we? 

Summing up my takeaways from 'A Quiet Place':
  1. Know the value of your life. 
  2. Cognize what you have. 
  3. Stillness doesn’t necessarily mean death. 
  4. Be frightened until you die or boast boldness till you live, after all bravery is the real beauty. "உச்சிமீது வானிடிந்து வீழுகின்ற போதினும்அச்சமென்பதில்லையே." - பாரதியார்
  5. Seek all possible means to live your life.
  6. Work invariably to be useful to the society.
  7. Remember, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. 
  8. Be grateful.
  9. See through a dad's eye to feel his love & his pain.
  10. Worship your mother. 
I indeed feel more privileged than ever that I have food, shelter & a loving family. 
Celebrate life.

Thursday, January 18, 2018

I am sorry too, dear brother

I never thought you would leave..

"I'm blessed with an angel, like heaven might send,
And I call her Priya, My sister and friend,
It's so good to know someone special, who shares
My secrets, my laughter, my dreams and my care,
Someone through good times and bad, when there's tears,
It's so good to know you priya, my one and only sweet sister...
... through the years,
Yes, it's a birthday wish from a brother to the little sister he is so fond of.

I never thought you would leave..

"Now that I am moving out of the country, my life shall change once for all, so shall hers. Our home time, this aura, our chit-chats, this phase of life, everything might change altogether over my period of stay abroad. I will miss her very much, please take care of her". I was moved when you shed tears to my friend.

I never thought you would leave..

"I miss your Rakhi this year. But I wish I do not miss it hereafter in our coming years. Your love and care has always left me a soul nearby saying, as your sister I am here with my shoulders for you to share your happiness and sorrow..Today I also ensure that I will also provide my soul and shoulders for you my dear..Take care of your health...", you wrote to me.

I never thought you would leave..

Disheartened at being bullied, I cried my heart out that afternoon. So embarrassed as I was with my actually-not-that-bad 'V' teeth, I felt helplessly low and shaken about how presentable I would look in the future. When my fear was unheard by all around, you simply put an end to it. Forever I owe my assertive smile to my orthodontist and you, of course. 
How crucial it is for a woman to feel confident about herself! How significant it is to keep the woman in the family happy! I know.

I never thought you would leave..

Winding back a few years, I see myself comforted & elated at your boundless affection. You, are not a brother my parents gave me, but one my blood brother blessed me with. Back when I was 11 years old, I first met a pencil-thin, spectacled, fair devil who was just always cheerful - for no specific reason. You were no less than a rebel. I always bust a gut laughing at the memory of you hitting a ball accidentally at our Social Science teacher during morning play time at School and from that day forth mam converting our morning playtime to morning special classes once for all. :D Always bouncing around, never did I see you confined to a place in our outlying yet vivacious happy place - our school. We shared a profound bro-sis bond that strengthened over 14 years of nurturing with delightful memories. I once heard you say "Appa is driving, Amma in the front seat, sons and daughter behind, this is a perfect scene of a happy family". 
And one day, you just left. 

I never thought you would leave.. without even bidding good bye.

Is there anything at all that can't be sorted out with a heartfelt conversation? You never heard my rationale,  but I did not give up, did I? The more I chased, the farther you ran and I made up my mind to stop chasing at a point hoping you would turn back.. someday. Life has taken countless turns then on and we are certainly not in the same point on the road where we parted ways. But, at every walk of life, at every turn I took, I fervently prayed for your well-being. It was not easy, brother. Not easy then, not easy yet. I have evolved as a person, into a mother, a new self you have not known of. I now have an adorable little man who would love to be cradled in your arms. 

My world is a happy place. But the space left by you remains empty.

I only hope you sent this.
I am always here, have always been, shall always be; if only you choose not to hide from me. 

Saturday, January 13, 2018

Sarahah - uncalled for

Wait. Constructive messages why be anonymous?

Sarahah - an anonymous messaging application that was sensational among netizens a few weeks ago. Screenshots flooding social networking sites, eyes going agog for new message notification, mind raring for more and more, it appeared as though it was the need of the hour.
As its description says,
"Sarahah helps you in discovering your strengths and areas for improvement by receiving honest feedback from your employees and your friends in a private manner"
To me, it is plainly "anyone can say anything to anyone and get away with it", be it any anonymous messaging platform for that matter. Now, why do we use it in general?

  1. For constructive/destructive criticism
  2. To praise/abuse someone
  3. To simply express yourself
  4. To play fun pranks 
The last one was fun. I found some amusing snapshots on my FB wall.😄 Sharing one such tongue-in-cheek jest below.

But take a serious look, why Sarahah otherwise?

  • Saying "You have a great voice, it was a pleasure listening to you!" or "You can do this better" in person makes a significant difference, don't you think so? Every artist needs recognition and that is better done in person any day.
  • Abusing/bullying/insulting someone is not justifiable in the first place. Picture below shows some frightful reports from 2016 cyberbullying data. 
  • Rule of thumb: Never drift from your standards. Keep up your virtues even if you choose anonymity.
  • Come on, you think you have so much time to spend on messengers? Get real. Life is short. 
  • Don't be cowardly and go anonymous. Why not confront with charisma?
  • Do not propose anonymously, never just because someone is beautiful. Remember, beauty is only skin deep. Character lasts.
Well, aren't these the values that add beauty to our lives? To me, they absolutely do.

Every soul longs for the slightest signs of love and affection. We never get tired of kindness, do we? At the end of the day, the people you meet and be with in your lifetime are all that you have. Why not keep your circle happy? Why not take time to appreciate the goodness you come across? Why not make someone smile? Why not help someone be strong again? Why not embrace the differences and co-exist?

Why not show up for real and do all these?

From my experience:

"You are beautiful", popped up in my phone. Flashing a brief smile, I carried on.
A message after a few days read "You are cute but stop exhibiting". I smiled again, this time at the false audacity of someone without a name and face calling me an exhibitionist. Another sent "You are the love of my life but I never had the guts to tell you". Period. This one had me chuckling along with my husband and dear son.
A few more notifications and I uninstalled it.

A faint heart never won a lady. You are one, Sarahah. Good bye.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

A glimpse of my weekend

Besides all the pettifogging with loved ones, amidst trying to organise myself or unravel the purpose of my life yet again, being surrounded all over by the household clumsiness, beginning of my weekend was no less than a big-time mess up.

There was just no staying power in me to set things right on that sluggish Saturday morning.
Pointlessly staring at my phone which did not beep as per my wish anyway, I somehow bumped into the talented humour buff Mr. Alexander, an Indian stand-up comedian. This guy cracked me up and transformed my then hopelessly torpid state at once.
'Trichur brother's Music, Matar paneer, Alex's humour and some quality family time'  - I am happy.
Revived and reminded to explore my 'half-forgotten' abilities or at least resume my not so long ago routine. 

Wednesday, December 7, 2016


கைகொட்டி நகைத்தவர்களும் கைகூப்பி வணங்க,
அவமரியாதை செய்தவர்களும் 'அம்மாஎன்றழ,
நீ வீழ மாட்டாயா என எதிர்நோக்கிய கண்களும்
நேற்று நீ மீண்டெழ மாட்டாயா என ஏங்க,
'ஆணவம்எனும் அடைமொழி இன்று 'இரும்பு மனம்என மாறிட,
வெற்றிடமாய்ப்போனபலர் உணர்ந்திராத நீ இருந்த இடம்
அனைவர் மனதிலும் உறுத்திக்கொண்டிருக்க,

போற்றத்தக்க பரிமாணங்கள்;
அதிரவைக்கும் அச்சமின்மை;
வியப்பூட்டும் நாவன்மை;
எழில்மிகு தனித்தன்மை;
அசைக்கவல்ல அமைவடக்கம் - என
உன்னை பார்த்தபோதெல்லாம் உள்ளூக்கம் பெற்ற நான் -

உதவிய நல்லுள்ளத்தை ஏளனம் செய்து,
இன்று அதையே உயர்த்திப்பேசும் இரட்டை தரங்களையும்,
மறைந்தபின் புகழாரம் சூட்டும் நிலையற்ற மாந்தரையும்
முதல் முறை உற்றுநோக்கியபின் உணர்ந்தேன் -

உன் உறக்கமே அமைதி நிறைந்தது என!

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